Movie Review #14 The Final Destination

     I have seen and pretty much enjoyed the Final Destination series, they are called horror, but in some cases they are not very "scary" but are very gory. Whilst they are not scary, yet gory, they should never be laughably horrible. This is unfortunately the case with the 4th installment of the Final Destination series.

     The story starts out with a bunch of friends at a race track, many of them are materialistic and annoying. So one of the kids has a premonition of how they'll all die in an accident, which by the way is such a stretch that it hurts. The kid realizes that he was only having a premonition and he manages to get some of his friends out of the accident before it happens. But then, they start being killed by some even more elaborate and laughably unreasonable ways [squirt gun + "drain pool" lever = blood fountain... Yeah, that bad. [and besides... who even has a "drain pool" lever for their pool...] I probably should also mention that the movie was presented in 3D in theaters, it may have been even worse in 3D, I have to say.

     So are there redeeming qualities of the movie? Acting, music, special effects? No. No. No. The acting was not convincing whatsoever, the music was unnoticeable, and the special effects... oh the special effects. For a movie that involves tons of things that would obviously need some good special effects, it seriously lacks. The opening accident will probably make you laugh, no joke. The rest of the special effects are a little better, but the opening scene MUST have made some people leave the theater laughing and demanding their money back.

     Go in looking for just some elaborate death scenes, you will get them, go in looking for anything deeper... look elsewhere. I can't even say its good for what it is, I could say that for FD 1 and 2, not so much for 3, and certainly not for 4. Indefinitely the worst of the series.

Rating: 2/10 - If you liked the rest of the series, go ahead and rent it. If you don't even like horror, gore, or the series, don't even think once.

Movie Review #13 2012

The previews looked good, the premise sounded horrible, it was outsold by New Moon, I loved it. The action is non stop, the story is surprisingly intelligent, and there's actually a pretty good twist too. The only thing I didn't really enjoy was how... impossible everything seemed. I mean, millions upon millions of people died in the catastrophes and this one guy and his family escapes... COME ON. But still, it's fun to pretend!

2012 uses science to explain why the Earth is ending, and it explains it well, its pretty believable, especially if you know nothing about science, and even if you know a little about it. Whether you agree with the 2012 theory or not you should give it a chance, the visuals were just stunning, but they helped the story! Visuals are sometimes used as padding for a horrible story, *cough cough* Transformers 1 and 2, but 2012 blends the two elements together to make a pretty good movie!

Bottom Line: Personally I didn't think I'd like it, but I did. give it a chance, put your cynical-ness aside and go see/rent it.

Rating: 8.5/10

Movie Review #12 The Stepfather

I was really looking forward to this movie, the preview looked great... but it seemed in the preview that it should have been rated R, and it should have been, but they took out the parts that looked so good [swinging circular saw]. I thought The Stepfather wouldn't be a Disturbia wannabe like many people were saying, but that's exactly what it was.

It had the same general plot-line as Disturbia but with more semi-naked people and more scenes that tried to be scary but ended up being funny. The former was not exactly a good thing, it was supposed to be horror.

I did sort of like it in a way, but I realized that I really only liked it because it reminded me of one of my favorite movies, Disturbia. Also, the ending was just... so horrible, they could've come up with something a LITTLE better. Plus, he just wouldn't die, I mean he got hit with SO MANY THINGS and ended up surviving. It was the Stepfather, not Iron Man.

Bottom Line: I would watch it again, but probably not again after that. Rent it if you like suspense and horror!

Rating: 6/10

Movie Review #11 The Blind Side

I saw this more recently so I remember more about this movie, especially that I enjoyed it for the most part.
I liked that it was mainly lighthearted, I didn't like that it got extremely childish "just-for-laughs" at some parts. Now let me just say, I really don't like dramas, but I enjoyed this one.

The Blind Side followed Michael Oher on his journey to becoming a star football player. It was pretty inspirational, eye-opening, etc, but it did get a little boring and dragged on at some parts. Although, the movie does try to be funny, and sometimes succeeds and sometimes fails miserably.

Another thing that wasn't so good about it was that some parts were really... predictable. When you see it you'll completely understand what I mean. It's almost as if the director wanted to eliminate any suspense that may or may not have built up, which could have been the intention now that I think of it... but still.

Overall it was a nice change of pace for me, being all nice and uplifting, considering that the last movies I had watched was the Saw series... which were not happy and uplifting to say the least [although good].

Bottom Line: I think this one is actually still in theaters, so go ahead and see it!

Rating: 7/10

Movie Review #10 The Fourth Kind

I haven't updated since... October, so I need to catch up, I've seen a lot of movies since October, so I don't remember all of them, but I have my review score for each one written down. I'll write all that I remember and the review score.

The Fourth Kind is supposedly based off of a true story and it even has clips of "real" footage, whether it is real or not is up to the viewer to decide. So basically there are these alien things that look like owls and they abduct people, blah blah blah. There's this lady who studies hypno-psychology and she ends up working on the study of the owl alien... things.

It wasn't bad, it wasn't good. I think it's out of theaters, but if it were, I would have recommended to see it. Not because it was good: because it was pretty bad and it ended up being funny [it was supposed to be horror]. To some people it may be scary-ish but it wasn't bad at all. There were like two moments that made me jump, and I jump at everything. Now that I think back on it, I wouldn't recommend renting it, but that doesn't make much sense cause its more expensive to go to theaters than to rent something.

Bottom Line: Hmm. Rent it if you like sci-fi or horror.

Rating: 5/10

Movie Review #9 Couple's Retreat

     Well, I went in with extremely low expectations, and this movie did not even reach my already low expectations. I went in thinking it would be mediocre at best, but no, it was beyond mediocre, it was beyond horrendous, it was... appalling. I admit there were a few laughs to be had, but most of them weren't THAT funny, and you could really tell where they meant for people to be laughing cause there is a deliberate pause in some lines that indicates where laughter is usually expected... but it wasn't funny, so no one laughed.
     So basically these four couples, I forget the names of... actually now that I think of it, almost ALL of them [I think one of them was Jason and another was Joey, but I really don't remember (there were 8 main characters total!)]. Completely forgettable characters, unfunny jokes, etc. are what made this movie so bad.

Bottom Line: Terrible. Horrendous. Utter crap. Appalling.

Rating: 3/10

Movie Review #8 Premonition

     Hmm. I'm trying to think of a word that describes this movie and that isn't an obscenity in all capital letters. Ok let's go with horrendous. So the movie starts out with lots of open questions, I bet there will be a great ending that answers at least some of them... right? WRONG. This movie builds, and builds up, to nothing. It starts out pretty well, then it gets better, and better, but then it goes downhill, very, very fast. Like fast enough to make it make next to no sense. If you waste your time with this movie you will enjoy it for the first half or so, and then realize that the ending you are expecting is never going to come. And it never does, it could have EASILY saved itself with a better ending, but it doesn't. You never get your questions answered, you never see a real ending, at all! It's just wrong, wrong wrong wrong.
     So it starts out with a woman, whose name I forget [mostly due to the fact that she was a completely forgettable character]. So the woman wakes up on Thursday morning and drops her kids off at school, and then goes home... and finds out that her husband died in a car crash. So shes all sulky and then she goes to bed, and wakes up on... Monday [the Monday before when she woke up]?! So she wakes up on Monday... just bare with me, and she sees her husband... alive. And she is just SO SMART that she doesn't even tell anyone about her completely insane "dream". Now if you thought your spouse was DEAD, and you wake up and see them alive and then pretend everything is honky dory... then you'd be an idiot. Oh and don't forget that you shifted back in time... so basically she's a complete imbecile. Then she wakes up every morning on a different day, and finally she wakes up on the day he's supposed to die, and she goes to try and help him out and make him not die. And, well I'll ruin the ending cause I really hope you won't waste your time with this movie anyway. He dies anyway basically because of her, and then the big finale you've all been waiting for? She wakes up like a few months from then, her husband is in fact dead, and she turns and shes pregnant. THE END. Wow what a great ending, and on top of being so good it also made a WHOLE LOTTA SENSE. *intentional sarcasm*
 
     Bottom Line: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!
Rating: 3/10

Movie Review #7 Zombieland

     Wow. Really thats the best word for this movie. Go in with high expectations... and you won't be disappointed! I went in with very high expectations, although I was prepared for the worst [just in case], and it turned out that it was everything I wanted it to be. Funny and just an overall GOOD zombie movie, there aren't many good zombie movies, and even fewer that strive for comedy. The only reason I can think of for someone to not enjoy this movie is if they either 1. don't have a sense of humor, or 2. don't like zombies. If you can stomach gore, then go see it even if you don't like zombies. If you don't have a sense of humor... then I'd stay away from it, simply because the less of you humorless people that go to see it, the less bad reviews there will be. I am pretty sure that the only BAD reviews are from people who either went in thinking it was supposed to be complete horror, or someone with a stick shoved very far up... Ok I'm rambling, but thats just because of how much I liked the movie and how much I have to say for it in defense.
     SO. The movie starts out with Columbus, the skinny, geeky looking guy. He starts reading off his little set of rules for surviving in Zombieland, and we see a small demonstration of why they work. Remember these rules because they will literally pop up at certain times in the movie. This sounds like it could be irritating, but its used in an ingenious comic fashion that made the movie all the better. So Columbus is surviving from the zombies really well, and then he meets the gruff Tallahassee, who has a liking for twinkies and big guns. They start traveling together thinking they're the last ones alive on Earth, until they meet Little Rock and Wichita. The four of them start heading for a place called Pacific Playland, where supposedly there are no zombies. So thats the gist. Doesn't sound all that amazing now that I read over that explanation, but believe me, there are many flashback type moments, and a ton of parts meant purely for laughs [Which will have you laughing pretty consistently].
     There wasn't really anything that I DIDN'T like, which is pretty rare, because I find flaws in everything. The only movies I haven't found a flaw with are this and Spirited Away, which is... well, the antithesis of Zombieland. But anyway, the acting isn't bad but it also isn't EXTRAORDINARY, but it doesn't need to be spectacular for a movie like this anyway. The music used fits the genre well, the gore level was surprisingly high, so people with weak stomachs wait until like the first 15 minutes are over and then go in [Almost all the gore happens right in the beginning]. The idea is amazing, the computer animation is great. And on top of it all, it is really, really funny. I saw Shaun of the Dead, and it was funnyish but Zombieland actually makes you laugh out loud, very loudly out loud as a matter of fact.
    So the bottom line is: Go see this movie if you are in one of the following categories:
-You like zombies
-You like laughing
-You need oxygen to live...
Okay I think that covers everyone, so go see it RIGHT NOW

Rating: 10/10 *see above.*

Movie Review #6 Saw 3

     I bought Saw 3 on Friday seeing it for a cheap price at the video store, and only having seen Saw 5. So I did not know the story thus far, so it started out being confusing, but it was still surprisingly easy to understand and enjoy. The movie starts off with a man with his foot in a shackle. He also has a hand saw, and he must saw through his foot. He chooses the alternate way of escaping and smashes his foot with a large slab of rock, cracking the bone... a lot. He then procedes to twist his foot so he can get out of the shackle and escape. So as you can see, this movie is NOT FOR CHILDREN, its seriously gory and the psychological ideas would be too much for them to understand anyway.
     The movie shifts back and forth between the main character of the series, Jigsaw, who is very sick and on his death bed, and the main character of the movie, ... I forget his name. But basically, the main character of the movie's son was hit by a car, and as he goes through a warehouse he has to either save, or let die, the people who wee involved with his son's death. The first one is a woman who witnessed the accident, but didn't testify,  the second the judge that sentenced the perpetrator to only 6 months, and the third, obviously, the man who actually killd his son. This tests the main character's ability to forgive or to be vengeful. The concept of the Saw movies are always interesting in the sense of seeing how people will interact when under pressure, and when they have a lot of hatred toards another person. While the main character is going through the warehouse, Jigsaw has abducted a good doctor to help hm survive if possible.
     So as you can probably tell, the saw movies, or at least Saw 3, have much more story and substance than most people give them/it credit for. the story is good and interesting. The gore is very... gory, and the acting is for the most part pretty bad, but in a movie like this it isn't always important to have good acting since most of the people just die anyway.
     I liked this saw much better than the 5th one, so if you want to see a scaryish movie, or if you want to see one of the Saw movies, I would reccommend this one.

Rating: 6.5/10 (If you like horror, go for it. If not, then don't rent it.)

Movie Review #5 Surrogates

     So Surrogates came out like last Friday, and I had not even heard of it until about three days ago when I went to see it. I walked in knowing... well, nothing about it. So I also had no expectations for it, although it didn't disappoint me A LOT, but it wasn't that great. So basically the gist of the story is that everyone sits at home, and controls a robot that represents themselves that goes out into the world. This eliminates sickness, accidents, and many other things that had people being killed all the time. The premise is GREAT, but it's executed pretty badly, not to mention hilarious when it wasn't meant to be hilarious. Oh yeah, and then people start dying from their control chairs when their surrogate dies, which defeats the purpose of having them in the first place. So that the story, pretty good story, and not bad acting, although most of the people in the movie are meant to be robots... so... they were good at being robots.
     I did enjoy the movie for the most part, it was entertaining, and once again, absolutely hilarious at some parts [but the problem is that it wasn't meant to be funny]. So it will certainly entertain you, not impress you though, at all. Another issue I had with it was the ending, the ending is absolutely HORRENDOUS. It makes next to no sense, BUT I will give it the fact that a part a little before the end is REALLY, REALLY funny [unintentionally of course].
     So overall, Surrogates gets a 6/10 for having a terrible ending, a good story, and being funny [unintentionally].

Rating: 6/10 (Go see it for the unintentional laughs)
This will be in theaters for a little while, so don't go rush to see it. Personally I'm looking forward to seeing Zombieland on Friday! The review will be up next week, or maybe even Sunday.

Movie Review #4 District 9

     Let me start out by saying that I walked into this movie with high expectations. District 9 definitely did not let me down. District 9 is a science fiction movie that is surprisingly deep and well thought out, and even has some dark humor thrown in. Usually science fiction is what I go to see when I'm looking for some good laughs, simply because of how ridiculous most of them are, but this was much different. District 9 is by far the best science fiction movie I've seen this year, even better than Star Trek in my opinion.
     The movie starts out with interviews with people who were close with a man named Wikus. From what they are saying, it seems that he has done something horrible. Then we meet Wikus, a man with an accent that I couldn't place, and a liking for the word "fuck". Wikus is promoted and is now in charge of going to the infamous district 9 to give out eviction notices to the aliens known as "prawns". While he is confiscating a small metal tube, he accidently sprays himself with a black liquid. Soon he ends up in a fight with a prawn who flings him away, hurting Wikus' arm. Wikus is sent to the hospital to get his arm fixed, and there they discover that his arm has become that of a prawn. They send him to a testing facility and he escapes and then he's running and they're chasing and blah blah blah. I won't spoil it for you, and my explanation of it was wayyyyy oversimplified but you get the gist [I hope.]
     From the description I gave I guess the movie doesn't sound so good, but I can't really say more without giving things away, so just take my word for it: this is a good movie. The gore is over the top, which definitely isn't a bad thing, but for the people with weak stomachs, get over it and go see the movie. The language is over the top also with about 130 "f***'s", securing the movie a solid R rating, although to some people this would turn them off, don't let it turn you away, because after a while you get used to the constant stream of pointless and occasionally justified profanity. The special effects were phenomenal, the aliens looked lifelike and you even felt bad for them when they look sad, they look REAL. The gore is well done, and well... its gory quite frankly. I wouldn't take your 5 year old kid to see it, but take a 13 year old and up, cause there really isn't anything they haven't been exposed to before, as much as parents would hate to believe.

Rating: 9.5/10 (Must See)
I'd suggest going to see this right now because it will be out of theaters soon.

(The fact that the guy never stops saying f*** kinda got old, thus the minus 0.5)

Movie Review #3 Ponyo

     I just saw Ponyo tonight and loved it. I saw it with a few of my friends, and we were talking, but I still loved the beautiful animation of Miyazaki! That's the great thing about his films, you don't really even need a story to make it a good movie, the animation is nearly enough, although a story is what makes his movies EVEN better! The story of Ponyo is more childish than that of Spirited Away or Howl's Moving Castle, but nonetheless, well written and thought out.
    Ponyo is a small goldfish living in the sea, and who makes it to shore where a boy, Sasuke, finds her. She is later returned to the sea later that day, but now she wants to be a human. So she becomes a human, and goes to live with Sasuke and his mother in their cliffside home, but Ponyo is attached to the sea in such a way that when she left the sea it created an imbalance and the moon started coming closer and closer to earth, making the water level rise A LOT.
    The only problems I had with the movie were that 1.) it was much more childish, I loved Spirited Away because of some of the more grown up themes in the magical world Miyazaki had created. and 2.) The story is lacking a litttttle bit. It's based on Hans Cristian Anderson's The Little Mermaid, but Miyazaki spruced it up, which was good, but not VERY good.
    Don't think that you shouldn't go see this movie though, the story is still pretty good, and the animation and the world Miyazaki created are both beautiful. This is one of Miyazaki's better movies, but  certainly not the best. I'm still sticking with Spirited Away as the best :).

Rating: 9/10 [Very Good (But you still HAVE to see it!)]

Movie Review #2 Orphan

    Now when I went to see Orphan I was with a friend and we had both already seen it, but the first time I saw it, I had fallen asleep, so it was great to see it again. I had heard Orphan was deeply disturbing, but for me I could SEE how people could interpret that, but I thought it was just a great movie! It was a little disturbing, but not VERY. And there were even parts that were really funny, and I don't mean when the nun gets hit in the face with a hammer. There were parts of the movie I missed the first time I saw it, and the first time I watched Orphan I would have given it a 6/10, but the more recent time I saw it, I'd give it much better than that.
    Orphan is actually very long for a horror movie with almost 2 hours, but you'll love every bit of it. Every moment is satisfying, and the scares all come simply from camera angle, or "jump" moments, the movie itself isn't "scary". Ok so anyways, the plot is basically this: A couple have two kids, and try for a third, who is stillborn. So they go to an orphanage to get a third child. They find a young girl named Ester, about the age of 9 or 10. She can sing and paint beautifully, and this really interests the couple, so they pick her. Ester is clearly from Russia, because of her heavy accent, so she dresses differently from American kids. The kids in her new school make fun of her, and one of them ends up having an unfortunate "accident". Basically bad things starts happening. The moment that gave me goosebumps was much later in the movie when the father makes a startling discovery in Ester's room, but you'll have to go see the movie for that.
     The acting was surprisingly good for a horror movie, much of it was believable, especially what happens in the movie is actually somewhat based on true events. This came out very recently, I think on June 24, so it may be in theater's some places still, so go and see it!!! One suggestion though, it's definitely rated R for a reason, but I'm not 17 and I was fine. BUT, DO NOT TAKE YOUNG CHILDREN. There ARE some disturbing bits in the movie, but they are needed to flesh out the story.

Rating: 10/10 [Must See (If you're into horror)]

This is definitely my favorite movie of this year, and probably my favorite horror movie of all time.

And don't worry, I'll get to the crappy movies in due time ;)

Movie Review #1 Spirited Away

     Let me start off by saying that Spirited Away really blew me away. I had heard many good things about it, but never expected it to be what it turned out to be: a masterpiece. I have probably watched it 4 times now, once by myself, once with a friend, once with my family, and then once again with a few friends. I have yet to find someone who didn't enjoy it.

     I had never heard of Miyazaki until I watched this movie, but I am very glad I did, because he is an artistic genius. I have seen several of his films, and they never cease to amaze me. But anyway back to Spirited Away. The movie follows a young girl, Chihiro as she is moving to new place with her parents. They take a wrong turn, and Chihiro and her parents wonder into a beautiful place (which turns out to be the spirit world). Her parents are turned to pigs, and Chihiro barely escapes certain doom by the help of Haku, a young boy living in the spirit world. Throughout the movie Chihiro becomes a different person, stronger, braver, and all around better. The plot seems weird reading it, and even hearing it, but it turns out to work perfectly. The movie is animated beautifully, it's really hard to look away from the screen. The movie isn't very suspenseful, but you won't want to stop watching it and you'll be glued to your seat.
     Spirited Away was originally in Japanese, but I'm pretty sure was just dubbed for English, so all the animations pretty much stayed the same, just like it should. Disney did a great job with this, and I was actually surprised to find out that Disney left it the way it was, other than voice acting, but they did.
     So basically, if you want a nice, comforting movie, go see this if you haven't already. It was released in 2000 or 2001, but I hadn't seen it until earlier this year. It's never too late to see a good movie, and I hope you'll go and rent this!

Rating: 10/10 (Must See)

And also, if I didn't say this before: This is my favorite movie of all time, and that's really saying something cause I mostly like horror, and this certainly isn't horror.

Introduction

   I've never done this before, but I know what movies I like and which ones I don't, so I'm going to try and help you out by telling you what I think about movies, both old and new. Hopefully if you're on the fence with a new movie, I can persuade you to go see it if it's completely worth it, or vice-versa. I'm not quite sure what criteria I'll be reviewing by, but I'll definitely say what's on my mind about the movie at hand. So without further ado, I'll get started with some of my personal favorite movies, and some movies that I just recently saw.

Oh and by the way, I like mostly horror, action, adventure, and Miyazaki, but that definitely doesn't mean I don't enjoy other movies if they're GOOD. Oh and I'll try not to be biased at all.